Usually, the thing concerning manipulation is that the individual behind it knows how to wrap it in the shadows of fake love. Making you believe that it is love when it is actually anything but.
When your companion is doing something thoughtful and sweet, you could perhaps think, “Aww, he absolutely adores me so stinkin much”
Below are 14 danger signs which expose that a jerk in secret:
- He always seems to like “check-in.” on you.
Is he constantly checking in with you when you are out with your acquaintances or just at work? Sweet at first but more manic if you do not really respond right away? Sweet? Really not. It is much more likely that if he’s doing it all the time, he’s checking up on you not checking in. A sign that he’s insecure and manipulating.
- “He uses the phrase, “… But I love you so much! ” Often apologizing.
Bad conduct can never be excused by passion. So if your man has fits of envy or frustration and explains them away by claiming it was triggered by his love for you, that’s not a positive sign. Does it seem like he easily tells you any time he does something that pisses you off that his inappropriate behavior is just because he values you so much? For him, it could be a way to divert you from his BS and get back into your good books. But do not disregard the behavior, see it as the red flag it is.
- Without you, he can’t survive.
It sounds romantic to hear someone love you so much that they will die without you, right? Incorrect. This is typically, in fact, a prerequisite to much more violent and entrapping actions. You mean so much to him, he tells you, stressing how you can never leave him. For certain emotional abusers, when you don’t do what they want you to do, this might end up with them threatening suicide as a way to manipulate you.
- He’s implying that you are his entire world.
This is pretty much like the previous sign. A relationship that is very stable is well rounded. In other terms, the whole world does not exist inside one another. No one should have the responsibility of being everything to another. Don’t be fooled if he attempts to take you away from your loved ones so that he can have all of you and manipulate you for himself.
- He’s spoiling you with presents that you don’t need.
Caring presents are always good to receive! But not with a secret agenda attached! This could be another red flag if he puts you down for the things you have or don’t have and replaces them for the things he feels you lack. He doesn’t give you a surprise gift if he replaces your furniture, clothes, or any other things with ones he prefers for you. He’s attempting to transform you into something you’re not.
- He tells you, you have to stop drinking cause he thinks you have had too much.
You were at a party together and when he saw you having fun with family and friends, he told you to stop drinking too much. And the reason? He cares for you and tomorrow he does not want you to be terribly hungover. Oh you know what? He may have been ticked off that you’ve had a pleasant evening because he’s a jealous, insecure person.
- Expresses that you are much better than all the other women
Initially, it can appear trivial. Always saying his exes were crazy and you’re so much better than them. You may be the greatest woman he has ever met. It also may be compliments, but not if he shows signs of being sexist and bigoted. Women are so [insert derogatory adjective here], he may say, but you’re not like them.” Uh, hello?” You’re a lady! It’s absolutely disrespectful.
- He likes messing around.
Individuals all appreciate a good laugh! But not when your self-esteem is at the expense of it. He’s going to call you “crazy” or “foolish,” but only humorously. He says it is his way of demonstrating affection. Um, No! It isn’t. It is his way of pretending to be teasing, but trying to deposit the remarks in your conscience so that you begin to embrace the remarks. You doubt your way to see your true worth.
- He’s suggesting decisions “for your own sake.”
He’s telling you that it’s for your greater benefit, because he respects you. He’ll show you a better method to do your job, talk to your best mate, make a cup of coffee or even lose those extra pounds (which you didn’t even notice). He cares very much about you. This is not at all for your own advantage, it is his way of manipulating you. You’re a grown ass woman who can darn well know what’s best for you so screw that.
- After arguments, he becomes super sweet.
You had such a big battle, after which he became affectionate and nice. It’s a way to blame you for confronting him with something which caused the battle. “That’s the guy who’s going to say, “You misunderstood me,” “I don’t like drama,” or Is that what you believe of me even if I show you that each day I absolutely adore you? As a way of making him look like a sweet, reasonable guy, and you feel like a crazy girlfriend. It’s messed up and you’re going to have to get out ASAP.